The idea that certain - things that happen, people I meet, places I go, small and big things in life have a meaning.
My job is to find that meaning and arrange it in a pattern, mosaic or juxtaposition of some sort that helps me to learn and evolve as a human.
You have to be a little careful with the "grace" idea or you can sound a little woo-woo or become a little coo-coo. Not every thing, person, place, has a deep meaning, but sometimes we find meaning in unexpected ways.
The word grace is a little hard to get your arms around. Princeton WordNet provides us with this on grace -
* Grace, saving grace, state of grace ((Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who under such divine influence) "the conception of grace developed alongside the conception of sin"; "it was debated whether saving grace could be obtained outside the membership of the church"; "the Virgin lived in a state of grace"
* Grace, gracility (elegance and beauty of movement or expression)
* Seemliness, grace (a sense of propriety and consideration for others)
* Grace, good will, goodwill (a disposition to kindness and compassion) "the victor's grace in treating the vanquished"
* Grace ((Greek mythology) one of three sisters who were the givers of beauty and charm; a favorite subject for sculptors)
* Grace, blessing, thanksgiving (a short prayer of thanks before a meal)
* Grace, grace of God, free grace ((Christian theology) the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God) "God's grace is manifested in the salvation of sinners"; "there but for the grace of God go I"
* Decorate, adorn, grace, ornament, embellish, beautify (make more attractive by adding ornament, colour, etc.) "Decorate the room for the party"; "beautify yourself for the special day"
* Deck, adorn, decorate, grace, embellish, beautify (be beautiful to look at) "Flowers adorned the tables everywhere"
Grace is a beautiful word, with lots of meanings. It's a high compliment to say someone exhibits grace, or is filled with grace, or is graceful and a wonderful name for someone ala Grace Kelly. It's also somehow akin to the thought of Serendipity, finding something unexpected and useful, while looking for something else entirely.
Grace, and it's meaning, is a topic of many discussions by thoughful people. For this discussion I'm using the word grace in the sense "by the grace of God".
The opposite of grace may be denial. Refusing to accept that there is meaning in many things (particularly painful or unpleasant things).
One of my defense mechanisms is humor. It works pretty good in many situations in helping to keep me sane. On the other hand I can see times when I've used humor to deny a feeling that if accepted, and examined, might help make me stronger, wiser, more centered, compassionate or more self-aware.
A person I recently met was talking about someone close to her who has Alzeimers. As I listened to her speak I began to think how sad it is to have someone you love slip away, while still being physically present - in this case no longer speaking.
I had a revelation of sorts while listening which brought me to tears. Not only for this woman but for my self.
I was very close to my grandmother. She was a teacher who loved kids. Her occupation was her avocation. She had lost her husband before I was born and lived much of her adult life as a single parent supporting her two daughters. One of her daughters had juvenile onset diabetes which eventually caused her to die a painful difficult death. When I lost my father at age 3 we lived with my grandmother who in some ways had more to do with raising me then my mother. My grandmother had experienced her fair share of suffering and come through it with grace, humor and a strong will.
I loved Gram. Not only was she a great teacher to a lot of students she was a great teacher for me.
She developed Alzheimers in the last years of her life and was in a nursing home. My wife and I went to visit her infrequently because she was in a different state. On one of those infrequent visits Gram said, "Oh Betsy (my wife) so good to see you. And who is that person you have with you?"
I've treated that as a joke. It isn't really. By recognizing that I can hopefully gain some compassion for others.
From "Kitchen Table Wisdom" by Rachel Naomi Remen M.D. -
"Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually through experience and not scientific research that we discover it's deepest lessons. A certain percentage of those who have survived near-death experiences speak of a common insight which afforded a purpose; to grow in wisdom and to learn to love better. We can do this through losing as well as through winning, by having and by not having, by succeeding or by failing. All we need to do is to show up openhearted for class."
