The beauty of the plan is that you would only have 8 days to get hooked on your vice, making it relatively easy to give up for your New Year's resolution.
I'm always thinking. That's what one of my principal's in school used to tell me. I'd do something wrong and then say, "But I thought...." then he'd say "That's the problem you're always thinking."
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Here's another idea I came up with. I'm thinking about applying for a patent for this one.
It came to me while walking by the people on the loading dock who are smoking and visiting and having fun while the rest of us have our noses to the grindstone (ouch).
I thought...Jack you should start smoking. Except with your being overweight, out of shape and a lover of all things fat-filled you would only add to your probable demise by heart attack. I had a related idea awhile back to start smoking a hookah out on the loading dock with some friends but that was really just a pipe dream.
Here's my new invention -
"The Steam Pipe"
It's a battery powered pipe that creates a fine mist of moisturized air that looks like smoke. Sort of like a baby vaporizer only small and shaped like a pipe. It could be adapted to a cigar or cigarette shape as well.
I'll make it so you can add menthol or something natural that helps you breathe and market it as a healthy alternative to smoking. All the coolness of real smoking with none of the cancer/lung/breathing drawbacks from smoking tobacco.
If you like to get in the ground floor send me some cash or I'll sell you the idea and you can work out the details. The downside would be if we get a lot of these steam pipes into the market and then find out they have some bad side effect (like in the Jerk where the opti-grab made people cross-eyed). At least we might have money to buy a hat with a big feather and some drinks with little umbrellas before we go broke.
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I woke up about 3 am this morning. My wife was still up since she was waiting on one of our daughters and she is off this week so she can stay up really late. I was leaning on the counter in the kitchen and said, "Betsy I could really go for some "Hawaiian music right about now."
We don't have any, nor have we ever listened to any Hawaiian music...unless you count Don Ho's Tiny Bubbles. I have no idea why I said that. Not too unusual for me. Odd things strike me as funny..at least I keep myself entertained.
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And finally.
We are Number 1.
Well a Lynnwood bar No. 1 on DUI list. There are four bars in the top ten for the state in Snohomish county. That's amazing to me. Sitting in my little room clicking on my keyboard somehow I'd assumed that drinking in a bar and driving a car was just not happening. Bar's or taverns as they are called in this area pretty much stink. There are some decent brewpubs or eateries that serve alcohol but the plain old taverns are pretty skanky. Maybe it's my rose colored glasses but I thought in the old days that when I went into a bar in Montana or England or Minnesota or San Francisco that it was a pretty fun place where you might meet some sort of wild or funny people, and not a place for a bunch of sad souls to commiserate silently or watch TV together....which is my recollection of a fair number of taverns in this vicinity. It's probably just me.
