Don't Worry

It’s 2 a.m. as I type this. The only sound is the gentle hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. A perfect time of day to reflect, think and relax. Some would say a perfect time of day to be asleep, but that’s never been my style. Never liked sleeping much. I like to get what I need but I’d much rather be awake thinking or doing things than lying in bed.

Yesterday was a good day. I rode my bike to a couple of stores in the morning and again in the afternoon. I walked to see a new friend but he had already left. I made some peanut butter and then used it to make power balls (peanut butter, jam, oatmeal). I washed, then waxed my 21-year old pickup with Turtle paste wax; cleaned the windows with Windex and used Armor-All on the rubber and vinyl. It was a good day.

I am very much into a Zen-like “sleep when tired – eat when hungry” philosophy of living. I don’t worry about how much sleep I get, or when I eat, and then extend that into life in general. I believe that there is enough. I don’t think I have to worry about how I will survive now or in the future. Not worrying about what the future will bring is a Christian thought as well. The obsession with getting my share, taking care of me, is not only sad - it’s selfish and ultimately will fail to make me happy. Matthew Chapter 6 tells me -

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear?” For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6 - NRSV

Those verses tell me to forget about my “self” my ego. This is easier said than done and also a dialectical problem. Forget about my self vs. think about my self. If I don’t take care of myself how can I take care of anyone else? We can synthesize an answer by realizing that forgetting my self – letting go of my worries – is the ultimate in self-care. Forgetting my self means forgiving myself, having faith that there is an abundance of love, material things and everything else I need to be happy – right in front of me. All I have to do is slow down, think a little, smell the flowers and let it go.

Peace to you and yours.