The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary says equanimity "suggests a habit of mind that is only rarely disturbed under great strain."
Calming down, slowing down, breathing, being a detached observer and centering yourself are all good practices, but I don't think we can or should expect to always be one way. Be good to yourself - it's a journey not a destination.
We don't want to get disturbed over something we can't control and expend a lot of time and energy on it. Sometimes it's best to say the Serenity Prayer and let it go.
If being disturbed motivates you to good action - that's fine - as long as you don't make a habit of it, and give yourself high blood pressure, a stroke or a heart attack. If we live in a state of being disturbed, excited, upset, angry, or distraught we may end up oscillating, accomplishing nothing - going nowhere.
It's often better to work for what you want rather than fighting against what you don't want. Working for what you want leads one to be calmer, less fearful, more optimistic, more centered, more connected and more effective.
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History is filled with groups who attacked others in the name of government or religion - not working for what they want, but instead fighting against what they don't want. Without an enemy they have nothing. It's a perfect example of the futility of this type of thinking because it's been happening forever and nothing changes - there is always another enemy - another battle to be fought. Lots of things to fight against but not much time left to fight for - compassion, justice, and dignity for all. If we want peace in the world we should work on schools, education, social justice, hospitals, infrastructure for the poorest of the poor to allow for self-sufficiency and an end to extreme poverty. Unfortunately the bulk of our time and money is spent fighting against what we don't want rather than promoting what we do want.
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It's an interesting difference between Buddhist and Christian thought that the Buddhist path is towards acceptance, detachment, and letting-go versus the Christian path towards rebirth, renewal, and working - and at times fighting - for what is right. That's an oversimplification of course, but it tends toward truth if you think about the economic and living conditions in an overcrowded "poor" country with a large Buddhist population and a relatively uncrowded "rich" country with a large Christian population and seemingly unlimited opportunity and space. If you lived in a crowded poor area it might make more sense to detach and work inside yourself rather than to work for change in the world.
The beautiful thing is that these world views are not incompatible; as demonstrated so well by the Trappist Monk Thomas Keating in his writing and talks, as well as the Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh. Both of these men are teaching that we begin from the inside and work outward. We use contemplation and meditation as a means to an end - not as an end in themselves - to allow us to go into the world as enlightened, compassionate beings, able to help others on their journey. We show our progress on this path by example.
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We would all like to balance our roles so we can devote appropriate amounts of time and energy to home, work, family, social, mental, spiritual and physical needs. Of course this is much easier said then done. Contemplative prayer and meditation can help us to quiet our minds and begin to prioritize our goals. It can help us to slow down, worry less, do more, and most of all - to show up with the greatest gifts we have - ourselves, our time, our attention.
All it takes is a little time to breathe...let go...and be here now.
