It must be very odd to be in that no-humor state of mind. I've met some really "smart" (not really intelligent if you consider the various forms of intelligence) people who couldn't understand humor. For some people there are probably organic causes for their Spock-like approach to life. People with some degree of Aspergers disorder, for example.
I don't know how people can survive without humor.
I have a great deal of admiration and respect for people who can make other people laugh. It's a great skill. If you think about the number of books that come out each year and consider how often we end up with an Erma Bombeck it illustrates the difficulty in writing humor. Ditto for great comedians in any genre. The really good ones are very rare.
You may have heard Loretta LaRoche talk about humor on PBS or via corporate learning networks. I wouldn't consider her a great comedian or comedic writer, but she has managed to combine a level of comedy with some practical application. Whatever she's done, it sells.
She is the author of Life Is Short, Wear Your Party Pants
From the "Balance" magazine article on Loretta LaRoche -
She refers to her personal history as Brooklyn with a Hollywoodesque backdrop. “We weren’t wealthy, it was more like the movie “Moonstruck.” We were one big Italian family, looking for love in all the wrong places and hooked on great Sunday feasts. The major problem was my mother. She was more like Joan Crawford’s twin sister than a homemaker and I really suffered. My attitude came out of a necessity to survive. “Humor, Victor Frankel said, is the Soul’s preservation.”
“So let’s face it, now’s the time to step back and look at your own life. Do you have one — or are you pursuing it? I can promise you, when you leave this planet no one will say you did it all — so stop trying and lighten up!”
Loretta’s Eight Steps to “Enlightenment”
1. Lighten Up! Find humor in everyday situations, especially in yourself.
2. Light the Way! Smile at yourself and others. Be fully present.
3. Step Lightly! Twirl, stand on one leg, walk backwards.
4. Delight Yourself! Pleasure yourself through food, nature, art and music.
5. Lighten Your Load! Give up doing Everything.
6. Discover Your Inner Light! Meditate, pray, count your blessings. Find the Bless in the Mess!
7. Speak Lightly! Go beyond Okay, Fine and Not Bad. Yell Whoopee, Whee and TADAH!
8. Become a Beacon of Light! Be a compassionate witness to your behavior and to others. Lead your life with grace, glory, merriment and mirth.
Balance Magazine - Personal Growth For Women
I ran across this quote on humor from Cy Eberhart -
“Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he / she is involved in tragic events.”
and wondered who he is. Turns out he's a theologion/minister/Will Roger's actor. He's written some interesting things about humor, including Hoping and Coping on how people in stressful situations use humor, and the not always subtle difference between what can be a mean sort of coping humor vs. hoping humor.
Coping humor in his example is a birthday card that says, "Don't feel old. We have a friend your age...and on good days he can still feed himself."
An example of hoping humor is a card that says, "Happy birthday - Isn't it reassuring to know that, as you grow older, worn out cells are being cast off and replaced by new, fresh cells...Think of it as a giant garage sale going an all over your body."
He has some other interesting pieces on humor on his website.
I was going to title this post - "Humor as a Form of Detachment", then decided to change it to Enlightenment to make a different point. Humor can be a destructive tool if used as a way to avoid life. I used to love to make cutting comments about people in what I thought was a clever way to be humourous. I came to realize this was really a way to distance myself from people. Not always a bad thing, but not really appropriate, if done in a mean-spirited way. Don't get me wrong I'm not above making fun of myself or someone else, I just hope it's in a good-hearted way.
(hmmmmmmmm...I might be lying, can you really make fun of someone else in a good-hearted way? and if you did would it be funny? Maybe it's okay if they are acting like a pompous ass (myself included sometimes). I think Stephen Colbert's premise of a satire based on "what's his name's show" on the Fox New's Network can be hilarious.)
I guess I'll leave it at not saying or writing things about someone, however funny you might think they are, that you would be ashamed to have them find out about. That's being true to yourself and practicing integrity.
"The secret source of humor is not joy, but sorrow." - Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing." - William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide." from What Made Gandhi Laugh
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it." - E. B. White
