say "I'm just glad to be here"?
It's a cliche and sort of funny but I like it.
I knew a guy who would say "I'm just glad to be here" when we were in team meetings and it was his turn to speak in an around the room, gripe/comment session. It would relieve the tension or gloom a bit after someone had shared some particularly worrisome, hopeless or depressing bit of information.
Just glad to be anywhere.
Just glad to be.
Just glad.
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I'm going to tell a story about something old and something new. I'll start with the new.
Next week Becca and I will go see her good Doctor Runyon to discuss protein S disorder. Becca has that disorder. She inherited it from me.
Thanks to modern medicine we know that and proper precautions can be taken to prevent the effects of this blood disorder.
Your blood has a variety of proteins that effect clotting, protein S is one of them. Protein S disorder means you have less than normal levels of protein S which reduces the time it takes, and increases the propensity, for your blood to clot. The short story is that depending on the level of protein S in your blood you will be somewhat more likely to develop minor blood clots, phlebitis (blood clots in your legs), pulmonary embolisms or suffer a stroke.
We will be talking to Dr. Runyon about precautions Becca will take to make sure none of those things happen to her.
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Now an old story.
I had a near death experience once.
It has given me a somewhat unique point of view (at least I like to think that).
I was a sailor on the USS Belleau Wood LHA-3 in the 70's. It was a great ship and I enjoyed my work and the people I worked with. Near the end of my enlistment I hurt my back.
I ended up in a Navy hospital in Bremerton where I had back surgery. It was a more invasive procedure back then, compared to today. It caused a fair amount of internal bleeding/bruising because of the additional trauma caused by opening up your back, as opposed to an arthroscopic procedure you might get today. I know because I had a second back surgery about 20 years later.
About 3 days after my surgery I was laying in bed in the hospital and began to feel like I was getting the flu. It got progressively worse. It was a Sunday.
I told the nurse that something was wrong. She was an old stern sort and told me she thought I was feeling the withdrawal symptoms from the pain medication they had been giving me. I knew that wasn't it.
I was reaching the point where I couldn't talk and tried to convince her she needed to call in a Doctor (none were on duty at the time). She wouldn't. I remember very vividly what happened next. They brought in lunch for my roommate and the smell of it made me feel really really bad. Couldn't stand it. You know the sensation when you are sick and smell certain things? It was like that magnified 10 times. I was having trouble breathing, my chest hurt and I thought I was going to vomit.
I started to cough up blood.
bright red blood all over my pj's.
I was blessed because a Navy Corpsman was in the ward and knew what was going on. He took charge and ordered an artery stick to check my blood oxygen level and hooked me up to breathing oxygen.
I had a pulmonary embolism. A blood clot had formed in my back as a result of the surgery and traveled into my lungs where it got stuck and caused a blood vessel to burst, and my lungs started to fill with blood. It hurt like hell just to try and take a breath. All I could manage to do was take very short gasping breaths. When you lungs are filling with blood there is very little they can do for you in a hospital other than hope you keep enough free volume in your lungs to sustain your life.
There isn't a machine they can hook up to force air into your lungs if they are filling with blood and they aren't going to try to pump out a lung and cause additional trauma and bleeding. They will give you oxygen to try and keep your blood oxygen level up to the point where you don't suffer brain damage. You are left literally with a fight for your life, if you are lucky.
It gets old fast. Your chest hurts like heck, your temperature starts to go up because you aren't repirating and you feel like crap.
I reached points where I thought "this is too much pain it would be better to just give in and let death come." I could actually let up gulping air a little bit and start to fade into a fuzzy sort of semi-conscious state. I knew if I just let the semi-conscious state become an unconscious state I could be free. Each time the corpsman would talk me back. At one point I was so exhausted from trying to gulp air and wrung out from the pain in my chest that I started to cry. I was going to miss my friends and family but I could see the peaceful release of death and was ready for it. The corpsman took my hand and talked to me, gave me hope, told me not to give up, he gave me the will and support to carry on.
I ended up in intensive care for a week or so. I went home to Montana to recuperate and fully recovered with only a slight decrease in my lung function.
I don't know that Corpsman's name. He sat with me and helped me but I never saw him again. He was my guardian angel that day. The page I AM A NAVY CORPSMAN talks about those great guys.
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Subsequent to that I had another back surgery years later and ended up with blood clots in my legs. Then a few just popped up out of nowhere. That led to my being given the blood tests that detected the protein S disorder. Now I take coumadin and things are just fine. I feel very fortunate that I have a minor problem like that which can be treated thanks to the marvels of modern medicine.
Life is good.
And...
I'm just glad to be here.
Just glad to be anywhere.
Just glad to be.
Just glad.
Life is so precious. I love it.
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"EMERGING MYSTERY
THE PATH of love that I walk is neither predetermined nor clear-cut. It is forged in the process of walking day by day, listening
deeply to the silence brooding beneath the noisy instructions issuing from without and within our own hearts.
God's will is not a puzzle to be solved but a mystery to be lived into. It is a mystery whose contours emerge as we journey on."
-- Wendy M. Wright
THE RISING
