"Successful people have an uncanny ability to know when to advance and when to retreat. It comes from having a mindset that is oriented toward making things work, not wasting time figuring out why things went wrong. Successful people are realistic, seek responsibility, tolerate ambiguity and are willing to make decisions and take action. They expect to win. And one of the best ways to win is to choose your battles."
She has provided some guidelines for choosing fight over flight.
When it's OK to fight -
- Your ideas are being diminished.
- Your reputation is being sullied.
- It's for the betterment of the organization.
- You're standing up against action that is cruel or illegal.
- Something legitimate or terribly important is at stake.
- The issue involves integrity.
- The issue involves a significant amount of money.
Some examples of when not to fight -
- You are trying to change people who have no interest in changing.
- The outcome won't be materially different whether you win or lose.
- The matter really isn't all that relevant or important to you.
- You are not fully informed about the issue or fully convinced that your position is correct.
- You have no chance of winning.
- You have other priorities that are far more pressing.
- You're just feeling surly or want to show others you're not a wimp.
"There are times that embracing confrontation is good," says David D'Alessandro, CEO of John Hancock Financial Services. "Don't be mean to people just because you're mean or you're unhappy. Pick a fight when you believe you are absolutely right and the stakes are worth it. Even if you lose, you'll be respected for having picked the fight."
