The basis of this post are the scratchy notes I took at a retreat for hospice volunteers today. After I got home I wanted to write and expand a bit on what I heard.
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This comes from a poem by Rumi
-
The actual words are not what I wrote above. The idea, as I understand it - is to be awake to, and in, the present moment. You will find similar thoughts in Buddhism and Christianity.
This is the translation by Coleman Barks of that section of the Rumi poem -
-Don't go
Don't go
Don't go
To sleep
Be awake to the spirit - the beauty - the mystery of life.
Don't go
Don't go
To sleep
Be awake to the spirit - the beauty - the mystery of life.
The actual words are not what I wrote above. The idea, as I understand it - is to be awake to, and in, the present moment. You will find similar thoughts in Buddhism and Christianity.
This is the translation by Coleman Barks of that section of the Rumi poem -
For years, copying other people, I tried to know myself.
From within, I couldn't decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name being called.
Then I walked outside.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
____________________________
From within, I couldn't decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name being called.
Then I walked outside.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.____________________________
Margaret Mead said something along these lines - "When someone is born we rejoice, when someone is married we celebrate, when someone dies we pretend nothing happened."
Our society values strength, beauty and youth. Death is something to "deal with" so the living can get on with life. People in mourning are not encouraged to show their pain or even the fact that they have suffered a loss. Rather than a natural part of life's process of birth, growth and death - we treat dying by relegating it to the funeral industry. When a funeral home comes to take the body they use an unmarked van in order to not upset the neighbors with the fact that someone has died. Rather than having someone who has lost a loved one wear black or some external sign of mourning we choose to pretend that life goes on...same as before...same as always.
Note: I believe this may be the actual quote from Margaret Mead but I can't find a reliable source to attribute it to -
"We jubilate over birth and dance at weddings, but more and more hustle the dead off the scene without ceremony, without an opportunity for young and old to realize that death is as must a fact of life as is birth."
Anam Cara is a Gaelic phrase that means Spiritual Friend or Soul Friend. It's a beautiful thought that you meet someone who is connected to you in such a way that they help you spiritually throughout life including the time of your death stand beside you (even if they have died before you). You can read more about this belief in Celtic Wisdom: A Conversation with John O'Donahue.
We all desire in the deepest part of our heart - to be needed.
Viktor Frankl writes about suffering and Man's Search For Meaning
by telling us suffering without meaning leads to despair, suffering with meaning leads to hope.
We give,
we receive
and
we are able to find redemption
As a former prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp and survivor of the Holocaust Viktor Frankl tells us, as paradoxical as it may seem, that we are able to find redemption, in our own suffering and the suffering of those we love.
We find meaning, redemption and salvation by finding and following a spiritual path to something greater than ourselves. This is a very freeing thought - that there is something greater than "me". I'm not responsible for everything - it's not my job to try and control all that happens in my own or another's life. I am not responsible for the happiness or suffering of others. I do what I can with what has been given me. Some higher power has the ultimate responsibility for what happens on this earth. This allows us to let go - of worry, our pain, and ultimately the physical presence of those we love and our self.
In the presence of one who is dying we stand on sacred ground. The externalities of life are distilled to the essence -
Who have I loved?
and
Who have I allowed to love me?
It sometimes hardest for patients who are used to giving, taking care, providing for others - their family, friends, pets, strangers. One gift we can give those people is to encourage them to give their permission to be loved in return (which of course they are) but to allow others to show that love by caring for that person in their time of need.
I believe this thought was attributed to John of the Cross, it's my interpretation not a quote -
Our society values strength, beauty and youth. Death is something to "deal with" so the living can get on with life. People in mourning are not encouraged to show their pain or even the fact that they have suffered a loss. Rather than a natural part of life's process of birth, growth and death - we treat dying by relegating it to the funeral industry. When a funeral home comes to take the body they use an unmarked van in order to not upset the neighbors with the fact that someone has died. Rather than having someone who has lost a loved one wear black or some external sign of mourning we choose to pretend that life goes on...same as before...same as always.
Note: I believe this may be the actual quote from Margaret Mead but I can't find a reliable source to attribute it to -
"We jubilate over birth and dance at weddings, but more and more hustle the dead off the scene without ceremony, without an opportunity for young and old to realize that death is as must a fact of life as is birth."
____________________________
Anam Cara is a Gaelic phrase that means Spiritual Friend or Soul Friend. It's a beautiful thought that you meet someone who is connected to you in such a way that they help you spiritually throughout life including the time of your death stand beside you (even if they have died before you). You can read more about this belief in Celtic Wisdom: A Conversation with John O'Donahue.
____________________________
We all desire in the deepest part of our heart - to be needed.
____________________________
Viktor Frankl writes about suffering and Man's Search For Meaning
by telling us suffering without meaning leads to despair, suffering with meaning leads to hope.We give,
we receive
and
we are able to find redemption
As a former prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp and survivor of the Holocaust Viktor Frankl tells us, as paradoxical as it may seem, that we are able to find redemption, in our own suffering and the suffering of those we love.
We find meaning, redemption and salvation by finding and following a spiritual path to something greater than ourselves. This is a very freeing thought - that there is something greater than "me". I'm not responsible for everything - it's not my job to try and control all that happens in my own or another's life. I am not responsible for the happiness or suffering of others. I do what I can with what has been given me. Some higher power has the ultimate responsibility for what happens on this earth. This allows us to let go - of worry, our pain, and ultimately the physical presence of those we love and our self.
In the presence of one who is dying we stand on sacred ground. The externalities of life are distilled to the essence -
Who have I loved?
and
Who have I allowed to love me?
____________________________
It sometimes hardest for patients who are used to giving, taking care, providing for others - their family, friends, pets, strangers. One gift we can give those people is to encourage them to give their permission to be loved in return (which of course they are) but to allow others to show that love by caring for that person in their time of need.
____________________________
I believe this thought was attributed to John of the Cross, it's my interpretation not a quote -
When you don't feel love.
Give it.
And you will get it.
____________________________
Pain that is not transcended is transmitted.
____________________________
Give it.
And you will get it.
____________________________
Pain that is not transcended is transmitted.
____________________________
The desire to help is a uniquely human phenomona. The book Help : The Original Human Dilemma by Garret Keizer a former Episcopal Priest, writer for Harpers and other magazines and newspapers explores the differences between altruism - providing something that may or may not be helping receipient, and helping - meaning the receipient receives what they need. It is a dilemma I suppose.
From my point of view, by listening we can learn what people need, which may be just that - someone to listen to what they have to say. Once we know what people need we can provide what we have to offer.
For those of us who have our basic needs of shelter, food, clothing and safety taken care of we can move higher on the spiritual plane and create a spirit of abundance within ourselves. We have enough - love, laughter, joy, kindness, and material things - to share with others.
As the prayer says - "It is in giving that we receive."
St. Francis of Assisi - Patron Saint of Animals and the Environment
by Garret Keizer a former Episcopal Priest, writer for Harpers and other magazines and newspapers explores the differences between altruism - providing something that may or may not be helping receipient, and helping - meaning the receipient receives what they need. It is a dilemma I suppose.From my point of view, by listening we can learn what people need, which may be just that - someone to listen to what they have to say. Once we know what people need we can provide what we have to offer.
For those of us who have our basic needs of shelter, food, clothing and safety taken care of we can move higher on the spiritual plane and create a spirit of abundance within ourselves. We have enough - love, laughter, joy, kindness, and material things - to share with others.
As the prayer says - "It is in giving that we receive."
St. Francis of Assisi - Patron Saint of Animals and the Environment
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Holden Village Spiritual Retreat Center
Sacred Art of Living Center
