Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tire Swing Fun?


Sure it looks fun.


I've never quite understood the fun factor of a tire swing.

Maybe it's just that I haven't spent enough time on (or in?) one, although if I am to be a late blooming tire swing lover it's going to have to be a tractor tire swing to accomodate my largesse, or as they say in France my âne énorme.

Jimmy Buffett sings, "life is just a tire swing" and waxes nostalgic for the good old days. Family Fun says, "The backyard tire swing has been entertaining kids pretty much since backyards were invented."

Look closer at that picture. Notice the smile on the little freckled faced boy's face? That's not a smile, it's a grimace. Unless he has an oddly deformed body, that tire swing is not ergonomically designed. The tire is forcing his head forward and holding his arms back, like a school yard bully. Damn you tire swing, leave that boy alone.

Notice also that the chain is strategically placed to rub either the front or the back of his head. The seat of a tire swing does not conform to most young folks flat backsides. Maybe that rounded shape works better for bubble-butts; but you still have a hard steel cord on the tire bead to contend with (ouch).

I think part of the problem for me is that I tend to think of a tire swing with the tire hung vertically rather than horizontally. (I'm referring to how the tire is attached to the rope or chains rather than how it swings.)

The vertical tire swing shown at the top of this post is the type I am most familiar with, although I have swung in multiple dimensions at various times in the past. Where I grew up we only had the vertical hanging tire type, since the horizontal model requires eye-bolts and hardware that would cost money and require a trip to a hardware store (which might be quite a drive).

Okay a tire swing can be some fun. You can stand on one. It's an easy swing to make. First you get yourself an old tire, then you get yourself a rope, then you tie it to a big ole tree. For some neatnik-types, old tires in the yard may be in short supply. Big ole trees are a little hard to come by too.

I'm going to put my vote in for the old two rope board-seat swing. You can wind it up and spin. Stand on it and pump. Jump out of it easily. Just make sure you get a non-splintering board.

Wishing you a swinging day you Wild and Crazy Guys!

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Postscript: I had a heck of a time describing how a tire is hung on a rope without confusing how it is hung, with how it swings. I'm thinking about a Cartesian coordinate system x = horizontal and y = vertical. A tire swinging on a TV screen is moving in 2 dimensions. A tire painted on a piece of paper is depicted in two dimensions. If we add the z = longitudinal axis, then a sculpture of a tire swing is 3D...a real tire swing with a boy or girl on it is moving in 3D..and probably more. Send me an email if you'd like a 10 page single-spaced essay on "hanging a tire swing in other dimensions".