"I said I like my life. If I
have to give it back, if they
take it from me, let me only
not feel I wasted any, let me
not feel I forgot to love anyone
I meant to love, that I forgot
to give what I held in my hands,
that I forgot to do some little
piece of the work that wanted
to come through."
I found the complete Marge Piercy poem, "If They Come In The Night", on this blog Life on the Edge written by Peter Adams an artist who lives at a place called Windgrove on the beach in Tasmania.
If they come in the night - by Marge Piercy
"Long ago on a night of danger and vigil
a friend said, Why are you happy?
He explained (we lay together on a hard cold floor) what prison
meant because he had done
time, and I talked of the death
of friends. Why are you happy
then, he asked, close to
angry.
I said, I like my life. If I
have to give it back, if they
take it from me, let me only
not feel I wasted any, let me
not feel I forgot to love anyone
I meant to love, that I forgot
to give what I held in my hands,
that I forgot to do some little
piece of the work that wanted
to come through.
Sun and moonshine, starshine,
the muted grey light off the waters
of the bay at night, the white
light of the fog stealing in,
the first spears of the morning
touching a face
I love. We all lose
everything. We lose
ourselves. We are lost.
Only what we manage to do
lasts, what love sculps from us;
but what I count, my rubies, my
children, are those moments
wide open when I know clearly
who I am, who you are, what we
do, a marigold, an oakleaf, a meteor,
with all my senses hungry and filled
at once like a pitcher with light."
I think I'd say "when I have to give it back". There's no if about it. I suppose it depends on how you define life though. I'm sure I'll be letting go of this body at some point as it wears out and fails me. Putting aside any potential spiritual afterlife experience we can say a body dies but a relationship lasts forever. The connections we create by being our self - living our one wild and precious life, place us in a web of life that exists with, and will exist without, our physical presence.
I think I'll go look at the light of the moon for awhile. It was really bright earlier tonight.
