Here we are on a Saturday night dear reader. I hope you are well, relaxed, happy and full of light.
Or light beer if you are inclined to that sort of thing.
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Have you ever thought about what the most important characteristic of a partner, co-worker, spouse, boy or girl friend might be?
Of course you have.
Maybe it's a hunky good looking thing, or someone who is smart, nice, rich or some combination?
Over the years I've pondered this and I think the most important thing we can bring to our relationships is a sense of humor.
I think everything else flows from that sense of being light, not self-important or bogged down in the bad things that happen to all of us.
It gets to the point of not being a victim or circumstance but making a choice of how we will react to our circumstances. Certainly some things are incredibly sad. In fact life itself, because of the impermanent nature of things we love, is guaranteed to be full of sorrow.
Have I cheered you up yet?
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What can we do to escape the inevitable suffering of life? Nothing. So I think as long as we are here we might as well have as many laughs as we can.
Actually there are things you can do to deal with the pain of being alive besides trying to turn everything into a joke (I've tried that and it doesn't always work). These things will not allow you to escape suffering but rather put things into a context that allows you to live with Joy.
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I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus died so our sins would be forgiven and we all are saints (some of us have dirtier faces than others). If we ask to be forgiven for the bad things we have done, or think we have done, we will be. This is incredibly liberating not just from a high minded religious point of view but from a practical pyschological "lets move on" point of view as well. The point of Christianity is to free us from all our negative baggage and let us live with peace of mind and a joyful spirit. At least that's my story.
A good way to understand the beauty of Christianity is to consider from a child's point of view. Listen to the song on this webpage Songs Children Are Taught In a Faith Based on Love and read a few of the songs this Sunday school teacher and her children sing. I think it gives you a feel for the simple loving nature of this faith.
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I also like to read and think about other spiritual paths. I love to read some Buddhist literature and think about infinite compassion. A couple of web pages that look like a place to start are
I can't recommend too strongly the book Peace Is Every Step - The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh. Here is one little piece of his writing -
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Is a puzzlement
isn't it? That to be happy one should be able to understand what it means to be sad?
Not really though. It's the space in between, the light and the dark, the highs and the lows that make life so wonderful.
To have compassion we have to understand suffering. On the other hand of course we shouldn't confuse less lavish lifestyles than what we are accustomed to in the West as suffering. Money can't buy you love baby. Or happiness. True joy comes from within. I can guarantee you that some child we consider "poor" by our materialistic standards playing with his paper kite in the poor part of Bombay is just as happy as a fat american kid with a ton of video games. Wanna bet?
Have you ever watched a sporting event on TV and they cut to the rich owner and he's sitting by himself looking like he isn't having any fun with a scowl on his face? Did you ever read about Howard Hughes?
If you've never seen the 1956 movie The King and I with Yul Brenner please do. It's a wonderful movie. While you are at it pick up South Pacific and My Fair Lady too. They are just marvelous.
Be strong my friend. But let yourself bend like a willow...ah yes grasshopper that is the way ;-)
We will be just fine.
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