I’m unhappy –
the world is unhappy. No God, no love, no joy, no choice, no freedom.
No self.
I think therefore I
am. But thinking is hard, so being lazy, I decided to stop. I instead
let people tell me what to think, who to blame, who to hate, what to
fear and who and what to love.
I escape the hard
work of examining my life to consider what I have done right, what I
could do better, and to atone for wrongs I have done others and to my
self.
Rather than coming
to terms with the inevitable - sickness, old age and death; I chase
something, anything as long as it allows me to forget who and what I
am.
I have no desire to
spend time thinking and rethinking how to live a a good life. I gave
up my individuality to escape from the anxieties, uncertainties and
personal responsibilities of freedom. I take the path of least
resistance and allow propagandists, advertisers, televangelists,
self-help gurus and various snake oil salesman to sell me a life.
They whisper in my ear that life isn’t hard, all I really need is
this car, this soap, this political party, these clothes, that
house, these pharmaceuticals and my wildest dreams will come true.
Having jettisoned
religion I no longer have a ready source of stories about loving
one’s neighbor, helping those less fortunate, or the
interconnectedness of all things. I have no time or need to ponder
the mysteries of the universe, the world, and the people in it.
Instead I am left with the fake certitudes of ideologies I’ve
neither studied nor understand and am left with no rock to anchor to
in a harsh and ever coarsening world.
How do I avoid
squandering my incredible, wild and unique life?
There is no answer.
If someone tells you only he/she has the answer – run fast and far.
Life is a journey
not a destination. It is difficult and will take honesty and courage
to be truly alive. I have only the hard work of confronting my self,
my God(s), my shortcomings, my failures and asking for forgiveness
and strength to do better.
If I have the
courage to accept that life is hard, often sad and sometimes tragic -
I will have the emotional range to experience the joys of love,
compassion, and the wonder-filled appreciation that I am alive on
this earth. If you put in the work you’ll realize that this is it –
where you are now, these people, this room, this air, this earth –
right here right now – this is it.
