I’m unhappy – the world is unhappy. No God, no love, no joy, no choice, no freedom. No self.
I think therefore I am. But thinking is hard, so being lazy, I decided to stop. I instead let people tell me what to think, who to blame, who to hate, what to fear and who and what to love.
I escape the hard work of examining my life to consider what I have done right, what I could do better, and to atone for wrongs I have done others and to my self.
Rather than coming to terms with the inevitable - sickness, old age and death; I chase something, anything as long as it allows me to forget who and what I am.
I have no desire to spend time thinking and rethinking how to live a a good life. I gave up my individuality to escape from the anxieties, uncertainties and personal responsibilities of freedom. I take the path of least resistance and allow propagandists, advertisers, televangelists, self-help gurus and various snake oil salesman to sell me a life. They whisper in my ear that life isn’t hard, all I really need is this car, this soap, this political party, these clothes, that house, these pharmaceuticals and my wildest dreams will come true.
Having jettisoned religion I no longer have a ready source of stories about loving one’s neighbor, helping those less fortunate, or the interconnectedness of all things. I have no time or need to ponder the mysteries of the universe, the world, and the people in it. Instead I am left with the fake certitudes of ideologies I’ve neither studied nor understand and am left with no rock to anchor to in a harsh and ever coarsening world.
How do I avoid squandering my incredible, wild and unique life?
There is no answer. If someone tells you only he/she has the answer – run fast and far.
Life is a journey not a destination. It is difficult and will take honesty and courage to be truly alive. I have only the hard work of confronting my self, my God(s), my shortcomings, my failures and asking for forgiveness and strength to do better.
If I have the courage to accept that life is hard, often sad and sometimes tragic - I will have the emotional range to experience the joys of love, compassion, and the wonder-filled appreciation that I am alive on this earth. If you put in the work you’ll realize that this is it – where you are now, these people, this room, this air, this earth – right here right now – this is it.